爱~
到底是什么？
现在难道就没有纯纯的爱了吗？
所谓的puppy love还存在吗？
说真的我不懂你那样做是不是自私，我也不懂是不是因为我是那追求者。你要的完全就是自己的感觉。“你选人，人家也会选你”，这是你教我的。我毫无反对的觉得是对的。你说得我都不会反对。但是，我越来越想不明白，爱不是都是从感动开始，从仰慕开始？爱不是都从朋友开始，从伙伴开始的吗？
其实，我现在好乱好乱。心情很莫名其妙，根本提不起劲来读书。不懂是不是踩得越来越深了。但自从你开始不要我后我就一直挣扎要离开这大坑了。为何觉得越挣扎跌得越深了呢？到底我该怎么做才能逃脱了。我懂有个办法就是要她接受我。但是这都不可能的。我现在完全不感要求什么。我懂我可能在你心中还达不到可以依靠的地步。所以我不敢再要求什么。但我越是想离开这坑我就会越踩越深了。根本不懂要怎样才不会伤害到你的离开。但也不想还到自己。心情真的很乱很乱。很想好好的读书却一直放不下，为何了我？为何那么的痛苦？啊！！！！！！！！！！我不要这样的生活。
要是你看到了这文章真的很对不起。我只想发泄我的心情。对不起~要是你觉得不舒服，我真的会改变我的想法。我做的一切都想对你好一点。为了你，改变已是习惯~
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
At KL now~
这次回去一共回了两天三夜~觉得这次回去过的好充实。这次我又去外婆家，由过去佛教会玩。唯一的遗憾就是没有去看到百幅师兄。听说他病了，但都抽不出时间探望他。
这个post其实是我想说关于我回去的事的。但不懂从那里开始说会比较好咯~这次回去可说非常的开心，没有遗憾。因为一开始就会以为她不可能会和我的咯。所以但她被安排顾我家那儿时我根本就不感到惊讶，因为我懂肯定会有人帮忙我安排的。就算没有，我也不会刻意去强求。和她的事不懂为什么，现在开始渐渐的放得开了，觉得随缘就好了咯。刚刚和她聊了咯。她生病了，心里就觉得很不舒服了。不过我懂我不是她的谁谁，我也不能把她当做是我的谁谁了，我们只是朋友。但她真的很为她的朋友。即使生病了，朋友的生日会还是会出席，不管我怎么说都没用了咯。或许我真的不是可以影响他的人咯。
说实话，昨天真的好开心。一整天她都呆在我的家，真的很高兴。不过最让我高兴的是在结束后我们到佛教会去玩的时候，本来就不想玩的咯。但是她却拉着我的手要我加入一起玩。我懂她只是刚好有兴致想要玩完全没有其他的意思，但是真的想对她说抱歉，我胡思乱想了。但我还很清醒，她是不会喜欢上我的咯。我们玩的时候，她还坐在我的脚上呢。真的让我胡思乱想咯。过后又一起跳舞。我懂要不是介元哥她也不会和我一起跳的。但我懂你不会乱想，我们只会是最好的朋友。很后悔当时不捉紧你的双手永远都不放开。
很高兴你又让我有这么开心的回忆，谢谢您。我爱您~
这个post其实是我想说关于我回去的事的。但不懂从那里开始说会比较好咯~这次回去可说非常的开心，没有遗憾。因为一开始就会以为她不可能会和我的咯。所以但她被安排顾我家那儿时我根本就不感到惊讶，因为我懂肯定会有人帮忙我安排的。就算没有，我也不会刻意去强求。和她的事不懂为什么，现在开始渐渐的放得开了，觉得随缘就好了咯。刚刚和她聊了咯。她生病了，心里就觉得很不舒服了。不过我懂我不是她的谁谁，我也不能把她当做是我的谁谁了，我们只是朋友。但她真的很为她的朋友。即使生病了，朋友的生日会还是会出席，不管我怎么说都没用了咯。或许我真的不是可以影响他的人咯。
说实话，昨天真的好开心。一整天她都呆在我的家，真的很高兴。不过最让我高兴的是在结束后我们到佛教会去玩的时候，本来就不想玩的咯。但是她却拉着我的手要我加入一起玩。我懂她只是刚好有兴致想要玩完全没有其他的意思，但是真的想对她说抱歉，我胡思乱想了。但我还很清醒，她是不会喜欢上我的咯。我们玩的时候，她还坐在我的脚上呢。真的让我胡思乱想咯。过后又一起跳舞。我懂要不是介元哥她也不会和我一起跳的。但我懂你不会乱想，我们只会是最好的朋友。很后悔当时不捉紧你的双手永远都不放开。
很高兴你又让我有这么开心的回忆，谢谢您。我爱您~
Saturday, March 14, 2009
时间~
等得不耐烦的学生今天心血来潮，上完课就赶着要回家咯。回家之前必做之事就是到车站去买票然后等巴士的到来。今天不懂为什么巴士站塞车。我们隔壁lane的巴士爆满结果害到我们的巴士进不来了咯。我们等了大概十五分钟巴士还是到不到站。只好在那儿吸着巴士排放出来的废气等着巴士的到达。这种感觉真的让人兴奋。不是吸废气兴奋咯，而是期待着回家的感觉。但是巴士的迟到也让在场的好多人等得不耐烦。本来我也不列外的，但幸好那儿有位美女看而且还和他聊了所以才没有不耐烦。她是Sungai Petani的人，来KL深造的。坐和我一样的巴士。她也是等到不耐烦了才来问我是不是等同样巴士的。说实话，时间真的好重要，它可以让我们便得不耐烦，也可以改变我们。所以我们做事都应该准时。别让别人因为等我们而不耐烦了咯。
P/S: 没拿到那女的电话，也没有她的照片。纯粹是因为拥有共同的问题才聊起来的~
Friday, March 13, 2009
放弃？加油？
放弃还是加油？
我不懂得选择~
有人说对自己要有信心~
总有一天会感动她的~
自己觉得自己和他的差别就如牛粪和鲜花~
她应该会那样觉得吧~
当她告诉我她的成绩后才觉得自己笨蛋~
可能我们真的来自不同背景的~
可能我们都是不同阶层的~
真的可能我们不适合~
那我真的该放弃了吗？
老天，今晚梦里可以给我个答案吗？
打算有答案后就决定去与留~
打算就这样走了，就算后头有声音也再不回头看看~
打算就这样放弃了，就算伤心也不流泪~
打算再也不提起她，就算忘了也不想为她心疼~
打算就这样结束一切，就算后悔也不开始~
打算不再理她帮她，就算失去也不遗憾~
但最后一个打算~
打算就一切不如我所愿，不用放弃这一切~
我真的有那么爱她吗？
但希望这一切他都不会懂~
收在心里~
永远永远的埋在心底~
就算死了，也不会后悔~
我不懂得选择~
有人说对自己要有信心~
总有一天会感动她的~
自己觉得自己和他的差别就如牛粪和鲜花~
她应该会那样觉得吧~
当她告诉我她的成绩后才觉得自己笨蛋~
可能我们真的来自不同背景的~
可能我们都是不同阶层的~
真的可能我们不适合~
那我真的该放弃了吗？
老天，今晚梦里可以给我个答案吗？
打算有答案后就决定去与留~
打算就这样走了，就算后头有声音也再不回头看看~
打算就这样放弃了，就算伤心也不流泪~
打算再也不提起她，就算忘了也不想为她心疼~
打算就这样结束一切，就算后悔也不开始~
打算不再理她帮她，就算失去也不遗憾~
但最后一个打算~
打算就一切不如我所愿，不用放弃这一切~
我真的有那么爱她吗？
但希望这一切他都不会懂~
收在心里~
永远永远的埋在心底~
就算死了，也不会后悔~
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
10.03.2008
Today, nothing special happen to me. My life just as usual. I don't know what will happen. Tomorrow will be another day for me. I mean is today. Posting this post time.
Today I have another exam on 12.00pm. Don't know what will come out. But I think my lecturer is a very nice person. He sure will give us easiest question to help us pass this course. If really like that I sure will not forget him. Yesterday I also did many wrong thing. I didn't done my power system tutorial work. Tutor seem very angry with our attitude. I feel very sorry to him. I promise will done it next time.
Yesterday night we have talk again. But nothing have change. ha ha. She make me think of the time when I first meet her. The time I make choice want to go to private colleague or stay at form 6. Many reason make me choose form 6, but no one is about her. Because before she come to meet me ask me help them make the camp I think I already missing her memory in my mind. But that time when she first meet me, my memory have all recall back. I still remember that I like her before. Ha ha. Tonight I have recall all my memory about her. I didn't think it is much but sometime really I will smile myself when I think anything about her. When all the light turn off, when all the thing just like didn't move, when look like time is hold at that time, I will think many many thing. I think is a very nice memory for me. Then I will sleep with that sweet sweet memory. Thanking you for giving me so much memory.
Tonight I will try to think about all my friend and the sweet memory. I think is better for me. I don't know who I will think of but sure will got all of you. Meet you all in my thinking and bring it to my sweet dream. So miss when I was form 3,4 and 5. Just a simple life. All true heart friend, all are best to each other. Many sweet memory, many many thing we have done. Thanking to who that gave me all this memory. Thanking to who that help me recall my memory today.
Is time for me to sleep I think. Ha ha. Hope u all will bless me on my tomorrow test. Hope you all will not forget me in future. Hope we all will meet soon. Good night to all of my know and maybe will known friends. Sweet dream to you all too.
p/s：2day I got check the grammar. Hope wil not wrong so much like before. Ha ha......
is time to sleep~~ ZZzzz......
Today I have another exam on 12.00pm. Don't know what will come out. But I think my lecturer is a very nice person. He sure will give us easiest question to help us pass this course. If really like that I sure will not forget him. Yesterday I also did many wrong thing. I didn't done my power system tutorial work. Tutor seem very angry with our attitude. I feel very sorry to him. I promise will done it next time.
Yesterday night we have talk again. But nothing have change. ha ha. She make me think of the time when I first meet her. The time I make choice want to go to private colleague or stay at form 6. Many reason make me choose form 6, but no one is about her. Because before she come to meet me ask me help them make the camp I think I already missing her memory in my mind. But that time when she first meet me, my memory have all recall back. I still remember that I like her before. Ha ha. Tonight I have recall all my memory about her. I didn't think it is much but sometime really I will smile myself when I think anything about her. When all the light turn off, when all the thing just like didn't move, when look like time is hold at that time, I will think many many thing. I think is a very nice memory for me. Then I will sleep with that sweet sweet memory. Thanking you for giving me so much memory.
Tonight I will try to think about all my friend and the sweet memory. I think is better for me. I don't know who I will think of but sure will got all of you. Meet you all in my thinking and bring it to my sweet dream. So miss when I was form 3,4 and 5. Just a simple life. All true heart friend, all are best to each other. Many sweet memory, many many thing we have done. Thanking to who that gave me all this memory. Thanking to who that help me recall my memory today.
Is time for me to sleep I think. Ha ha. Hope u all will bless me on my tomorrow test. Hope you all will not forget me in future. Hope we all will meet soon. Good night to all of my know and maybe will known friends. Sweet dream to you all too.
p/s：2day I got check the grammar. Hope wil not wrong so much like before. Ha ha......
is time to sleep~~ ZZzzz......
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Last nite, we hv chat~~~
Last night was a wonderful night for me. I like last night will be keep for my whole life, and unforgotten. I don`t know why I like last night so much, but it really give me warm night. After chatting with her, I think I more love her now. Just to wait the time to come then I will take my action.
Yesterday, I was like usual. 9.30am, online then on my game and fight for the guild war. This war didn`t have our guild leader bring us because he is doing his University Assignment. So his girlfriend online and tell us to war on by own. After war we have win 2 castle. Although MVP guild member got come to our castle and try to defeat us.
After war, me as usual run my character to Prison(some game location), then I offline. Because I think I want to play DOTA. But all of the sudden, she msn me and ask me is that me free? sure I will say free. But really is me want to start my game already. haha~~ I tell her I just stop, sure she not so belive. But I say I really really free. She tell me she very "sienz". Nothing to do. All movie she watch didn`t come out yet. So she very free. Then we start chat about sungai jagong. This topic we discuss for a very long time. Then we have stuck. Cause we didn`t have any topic again. I wan to start ask her about love question but I know she don`t like. Want to ask her about her feeling when thee result is almost come out, but I know she wil panic and sad so don`t want to affect her good mood.
but she always ask me to ask what I wan to say or ask. Then I start with study thing. I told her many thing and many method to choose wat she like. Suddenly she wan my help and as usual and sure I accept her request to help her. You know why that night make me unforgotten and hard to sleep? Is she send me "muackz" after I say I wil help her. Don`t know this is come out from her heart or just play play. But this make me very happy and remember it for whole of my life. Start to like her when she was in form 1, because that time I still a noob and dont know how to comunicate with girl I didnt go to chase her. (hehe~ me and her de story tell u next time la~)
I like last night feeling. So I wil keep it as long as I can. And hope she wil keep on giving me this feeling.
ok la~ need stop bloging liao lo~ many tutorial homework didnt so yet. If not done sure tutor will sad with me. hehe~
Yesterday, I was like usual. 9.30am, online then on my game and fight for the guild war. This war didn`t have our guild leader bring us because he is doing his University Assignment. So his girlfriend online and tell us to war on by own. After war we have win 2 castle. Although MVP guild member got come to our castle and try to defeat us.
After war, me as usual run my character to Prison(some game location), then I offline. Because I think I want to play DOTA. But all of the sudden, she msn me and ask me is that me free? sure I will say free. But really is me want to start my game already. haha~~ I tell her I just stop, sure she not so belive. But I say I really really free. She tell me she very "sienz". Nothing to do. All movie she watch didn`t come out yet. So she very free. Then we start chat about sungai jagong. This topic we discuss for a very long time. Then we have stuck. Cause we didn`t have any topic again. I wan to start ask her about love question but I know she don`t like. Want to ask her about her feeling when thee result is almost come out, but I know she wil panic and sad so don`t want to affect her good mood.
but she always ask me to ask what I wan to say or ask. Then I start with study thing. I told her many thing and many method to choose wat she like. Suddenly she wan my help and as usual and sure I accept her request to help her. You know why that night make me unforgotten and hard to sleep? Is she send me "muackz" after I say I wil help her. Don`t know this is come out from her heart or just play play. But this make me very happy and remember it for whole of my life. Start to like her when she was in form 1, because that time I still a noob and dont know how to comunicate with girl I didnt go to chase her. (hehe~ me and her de story tell u next time la~)
I like last night feeling. So I wil keep it as long as I can. And hope she wil keep on giving me this feeling.
ok la~ need stop bloging liao lo~ many tutorial homework didnt so yet. If not done sure tutor will sad with me. hehe~
Monday, March 2, 2009
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